Post Malone: Stoney

Post Malone.

I didn't know what to make of Post Malone when I first saw him. To be honest I thought he was just another in a long line of Culture Vultures who were too ugly to succeed in white music circles. But after I did some research I discovered he was in fact pretty genuine in his weirdness.

Plus White Iverson was a catchy ass song. I don't care who you are, that song will touch your SOUL.

So when his album Stoney finally dropped I decided to give it a spin, and my god this shit bangs.

Post Malone is like an ugly twin of Justin Bieber who was kept in the attic and only fed a daily bucket of fish heads. With that in mind it's no surprise the Biebs and Post make great music together.  When Justin's too busy getting laid or enjoying sunlight, Post Malone is deep in the studio stretching his musical talent as far as it can go.

Stoney is a great look into the life of a young white male that has black idols. He's always high, he's always partying with his people, and when he watches porn it's always interracial and he always pretends he's the black guy.

The melodies on this album are out of this world, you'll catch yourself swaying as Post croons about the high of his life.

This is the album you listen to when you wanna impress a chick with your blunt rolling skills. Those O's you teach her how to blow won't get you them draws, but Deja Vu will.

If this album came out while I was in college I probably wouldn't have graduated.

If you're a fan of real rap you won't enjoy this. But at the same time I wouldn't expect you to enjoy a white dude with cornrows and a full grill to begin with.

This album caught me really off guard. I wasn't expecting to leave this a Post Malone fan homie can make some music. I give this 7 stale Dutch masters out of 8.