The scariest 3 words in the human language are “What are we?”
Sometimes you don’t want to think hard. Sometimes you don’t want to think at all. Sometimes you just want to hear ignorant shit. I don’t know why but there’s always so much shaming and hip-hop and rap when it comes to like in ignorant shit. Just because it’s hella lyrical niggas out doesn’t mean I need to listen to them EVERY DAY. It’s like saying you wanna go to school on Saturday; it’s unnecessary. Like dog, I don’t want to be lectured at all the time ok?
I get it, sometimes you want someone to paint a vivid picture full of complex emotions and thoughts so you don’t feel alone in this world. I truly understand. But sometimes I want to hear rappers rap about drugs I’d never do, cars I’ll never own and women who would never sleep with me. That shit brings me pleasure.
So with no further ado, let’s get into Young Dolph and Key Glock’s new tape, “Dumm & Dummer”.
OK first things first I don’t know why they spelled it that way but it sets a great precedent. From the title alone you know it’s about to be some off the wall shit and the minute you start the tape this is cemented.
Young Dolph is one of my favorite rappers because he doesn’t have punchlines, he just has lines that he says louder than other lines. He’s like if Sam Kennison was a rapper nigga from Memphis who sold drugs, drank lean and was named Adolph. So basically not Sam Kennison but still, you get what I’m saying. Key Glock on the other hand is the Robin to Dolph’s Robin, he’s a bit cockier, a bit more reckless, but it’s clear who his mentor is.
This is the shit you listen to when you want to drown out anxious thoughts. Worried about some shit that hasn’t happened yet? Listen to Dumm and Dummer, worried that girl ain’t text you back but her story is popping? Listen to Dumm and Dummer, scared that you’re too high on the train and everyone notices? Listen to Dumm and Dummer. Let Dolph soothe your psyche by screaming at you about how hard he stunts. Let Glock facilitate your breathing by talking about how much he trusts his guns. These niggas are here for YOU.
Now critically, I can say that this isn’t a partnership as much as a Young Dolph tape featuring Key Glock. Dolph does a lot of the heavy lifting here while Glock tries his best. This is in no way a diss to Glock, it’s more that Dolph is more experienced. He knows how to pace himself and how to stunt effectively. This is the same man who stunted his way through getting shot at and eventually shot. You can’t teach that.
I fuck with this album heavy, if I sipped lean I would be half asleep on a couch somewhere but I don’t have lean money, so I’ll settle for dozing off after drinking a white claw mixed with NyQuil.
Young Dolph and Key Glock had a lot of fun making this and I had a lot of fun listening to it. I give “Dumm and Dummer” 7.5 make up smudged Cartier Lenses out of 10.
I got some pretty big news.
I grew up an only child, and while it had some perks (more attention & space to masturbate, however these two things don’t go well together) I always wished I had an older sibling to give me advice. My parents grew up in a whole other country and got married in their early 20s. I can’t ask them how to get over a hangover or how to tell a girl I don’t want a relationship; they don’t have the experience. I always wanted an older Brother, someone a bit reckless but with the knowledge I need.
Long story short, I follow a lot of dudes on Instagram who’ve been to Prison. They always have great advice and give off that “if anyone fucks with you come talk to me” energy you need in an older brother. Boosie BadAzz might be my number one IG older brother.
Boosie has lived a real ass life, he beat death row, kidney cancer and has diabetes. Yet despite this he’s dropped more albums I can count and takes care of all 6(?) of his kids. I will never live a life like Boosie’s but, he drops some great jewels from time to time. Unless you ask him about gays in America...yea, just don’t ask him about gays in America.
But I digress! In 2019 Boosie Boo got his own clothing brand, cologne, perfume, liquor, potato chip, AND bottled water. That’s all pretty impressive, however what’s most impressive is that he found the time to drop the album BadAzz 3.5.
So let’s talk about BadAzz 3.5.
If you’ve never listened to a Boosie album, imagine that one nigga who stays in the barbershop who’s cool with all the barbers but never gets a haircut. Now imagine that dude was a rapper. That is a Boosie album. To those who are unaware it might sound crazy but he says some real shit about some real shit.
Boosie isn’t the most lyrical, however he puts work in to make sure every line is sincere and also rhymes with the line before it. Sometimes he’ll get caught up with the weight of his words and take a small break from rapping to reflect...all while still being on beat.
I won’t lie though, he’s made better albums than this. The song quality is there, but he kind of jumps from topic to topic. Boosie says a lot of heavy shit, so for him to go from topic to topic it’s kind of like going from doing Bench Pressing to Yoga to Heavy Squats, it can be done but pacing is necessary.
Boosie albums usually feel like he HAD to make them, this one felt like he was bored in the crib and decided to do one because he could. I appreciate the fact that he’s at a point in his career where he can drop an album whenever he wants, but I feel like with a little more thought this could’ve been a classic.
BadAzz 3.5 got me excited to listen to BadAzz 4. I give it 6 Instagram Live stories out of 9.
I really wish it didn’t take me so long to write this.
I knew I should’ve reviewed this the minute it came out because I watched Nipsey’s growth from his first mixtape to the self made man he became. I waited years for this album to drop and when it finally did I didn’t give it the spins it truly deserved.
To be fair I had just moved to New York and I was doing my best not to get swept away in a wave of rats and overpriced rum and cokes. But I digress, this month we lost one of the most motivational artists of my generation and I would be remise not to talk about his crowning musical achievement.
So let’s get into Victory Lap.
If you don’t know Nipsey Hussle, he’s a strong believer in the fact that following your dreams isn’t a race, it’s a marathon. So much so that he built a lifestyle around the belief in the Marathon. Now there’s a joke somewhere about a skinny African rapper preaching about the importance of running a Marathon, but that’s for another time. Nipsey’s belief in himself and desire to give all the steps of his journey the weight they deserve has been an inspiration to me since I was in my early 20s. For this reason the title “Victory Lap” is so symbolic because in Nipsey’s mind, the journey has been completed.
Now let’s discuss the music.
I judge gangsta rap by how much it makes you wanna join a gang. Nipsey makes Gangbanging seem so multifaceted, he’s the only Crip I’ve ever seen who could rap about shooting niggas AND give sincere opinions on Roth IRAs in the same song.
I believe everything Nipsey raps. This is a man that lived the life he put on wax, there’s no lies there’s no exaggerations, listening to Nipsey Hussle feels like you’re taking a walk with him. Everything he says happened the way he said it happened.
Every time a song starts I feel a warmth in my chest, like a responsibility to do better. This is music that’ll make you wanna knock Thanos out. No lie I listened to this album with a dangly cross earring in my ear and by the last track the earring was on the ground. Granted it was very fake and cost me 5 dollars but still, we cannot deny the realness of Nipsey. If you wanna get to work early and mean mug all your coworkers, this is the album for you.
I really can’t think of anything bad to say about this album beyond the fact I’ll never be able to tell him personally how dope it was. This album is gonna help get niggas through real stress, whether it be a job search, probation or a baby scare, Victory lap will hold it down.
This is the best body of work Nipsey put out. I honestly don’t think he had a beard before he recorded this, but by the time he was done he earned that shit. I give Victory Lap 10 Blue Flags Hanging out the Left Side (yea that’s the crip side) out of 10.
The Marathon Continues.