Drake - Scorpion

We all know the story about the Scorpion and the Frog right?

A Scorpion asks a Frog to for help across a lake, the Frog worries the Scorpion will sting, the Scorpion says “nah trust me fam” and then ends up stinging the Frog halfway across the lake while telling him “I’m sorry but it’s my nature” and they both die.

That’s how I feel about listening to Drake albums. Drake always gets us expecting a classic and then stings us with something mediocre. As luck would have it, Drake named his album Scorpion.

Let’s get into it.

Now before I started listening I knew I had to shake the bias of Pusha T’s ass kicking. So I had to sit back, put on my OVO Jordan’s and think about all the times my girlfriend was mad at me, then press play.

This album is not good.

Usually the hype of a Drake album can carry me through a listen but this shit was a double disk of “why are you upset?”. Drake is post 30 and still doesn’t understand why women might be mad at him. On everything if Drake made one song about buying a chick food when she’s upset he wouldn’t need 10 straights tracks about not knowing what to do when his girl is upset.

This shit is for the people who play with the Golden State Warriors in 2K. The songs aren’t good as much as their just guaranteed success. When I listened to this album I knew it was gonna go platinum because it was Drake. This shit was Roman Reigns headlining Wrestlemania 4 times in a row. You can’t care if it’s good if you know it’s gonna be successful.

I really didn’t like this album, don’t get me wrong there are some good songs, it’s Drake, he can rap and sing when he has to. Emotionless will get me through those drunk “I should be happy” nights, but a lot of it is real repetitive. This is an album that cute girls will listen to for IG captions on selfies. No lie this is background music to a viral sped up haircut video.

What really bothers me is how secure Drake is in his insecurity. He knows he doesn’t trust women, he knows he’s not as tough as he wants to be, but the problem is HE DOESN’T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. Instead of finding solutions he just complains about how things are messed up. It’s like watching someone complain about how out of shape they are while they walk past a gym everyday.

This album could’ve been good, if he cut 12 tracks and had a different IG celebrity make up a dance for the rest of the songs it could’ve been nice summer bop. Unfortunately what we got is what we got. A part of me wishes he dropped an album in the fall instead of the summer; it’s too hot to worry about my exes are doing.

Overall I wasn’t impressed, I tried to ignore Pusha’s diss but unfortunately I felt like I was watching him rap with a black eye he wasn’t acknowledging. Drake still Drake though so I’m sure I’ll hear these songs all summer. Til then I’ll listen to the City Girls.

I give Scorpion 4 beard combs out of 10.