Bruno Mars: 24k Magic

I've said it before and I'll say it again. We don't deserve Bruno Mars.


I don't think Bruno Mars is human. He's like a nymph that lives off a diet that's just children's tears of joy and Peruvian cocaine.


Who else do you know that can share the stage with Beyoncé and still drip sauce? Jay Z can't even do that and he got her pregnant.


What Jay Z did do is drop Blueprint drop on 9/11. As the nation was falling apart he kept hope alive with a game changing album. Bruno Mars clearly learned from Hov, so as we all brace for a Trump dictatorship, Bruno blessed us with 24k Magic.


This is one of the swaggiest albums of the year. If this is what coke can do, I've been wrong about hating that drug for years. Bruno is talented and cocky, you can't stop this burnt waffle colored nigga. 


This is the album you play when you got a new credit card with No Credit Limit. Buy that silky Versace shirt fam, Bruno got your back.


Some angry Niggas claim Bruno is a culture vulture as he "borrows" sounds and styles from black artists before him, I disagree because Bruno sincerely puts his heart into it. He's experimented with a lot of sounds but it appears he found what he's passionate about. I'm just waiting for the collab with Bobby Brown.


The swaggiest moment of this album comes when Bruno sings a song about cheating because a girl won't pick up his phone calls. The twist to this is that the woman he's complaining about is HALLE BERRY. No one can sing about cheating on Halle Berry, shit Eric Benet couldn't and he actually cheated on Halle. Bruno just has that level of talent.


In these troubled times where white mediocrity once again reigns supreme, Bruno Mars has broken through to prove that colored confidence is unwavering. This is an album you buy a blazer too. We must protect Bruno at all costs.


I've listened to this album for hours and I can't get enough of it. I give it 11 coke snorts out of 12.