Katy Perry-Witness

When I first saw Katy Perrys album title "Witness" I read "Whiteness" which was funny because it made perfect sense.

I didn't wanna listen to this Album but I saw Katy apologize for appropriating black culture and cry about how she hated being Katy Perry so I figured she'd suffered enough.

Plus I've never listened to a Katy Perry album before in my life, so i was hoping I'd have another "Friends" moment and realize I was hating greatness because of the Whiteness.
I had high hopes and  then she said she was "Marilyn Monroe in a Monster Truck" which I took to mean trashy, White and fucking a president.


After listening to half the album I felt like I was doing her a favor. This album is the audio equivalent of going to the club you hate cuz your boy wants to fuck a girl and you need to back him up/he was your ride. 

Katys music lacks personality, no matter how many haircuts she gets or dinners she has to discuss social ills it's just not exciting. She tried to diss Taylor Swift on a song called Swish Swish and somehow it made Taylor look better. Katy Verse Taylor is like watching  a Barbie Doll fight a blank piece of paper, no one wins and we all lose. 

This album taught me not to listen to music after an artist cries in an interview. There was one song I kind of liked but everything else sounded like what they play at a Forever 21 Sweatshop, some poor bangledeshi child sewing a cardigan doesn't know English but knows how to say "Swish Swish Bitch".  

This album was bad, but idk if it's a bad Katy Perry album or if Katy Perry makes bad music that I don't enjoy. I give this 3 eye rolls out of 10.