In 2015 I was on a Date that I thought was a sure thing. (Narrator: It Wasn't.)
We talked for hours about a ton of things, most importantly we discussed a stripper on Instagram who was "HILARIOUS". I promised I'd give her page a look and we went our separate ways. I never saw that girl again, but I did follow the Stripper.
The Stripper's name? Cardi B.
Flash Forward to 2018 and we have Cardi B's Debut Album: Invasion of Privacy. Let's get into it.
Cardi B's rise doesn't seem real. It's like the first scene of Precious before she gets hit with a Rock. The only other rapper I can compare it to is Meek Mill, which is very apparent after hearing the intro of this album. Cardi raps about her rise from nothing and how she'll never stop moving forward. Even though Meek Mill is in a jail cell right now you know he's proud.
Cardi isn't the best rapper but she puts in crazy effort. She puts her all into every track and it shows. You might not like the lyrical content but it's so genuine that you gotta rock with her. Cardi is herself throughout this album because she doesn't know how to be anyone else and it is fantastic. She used to be a stripper, she's from the hood and she likes Niggas that've been to jail. If you have a problem with it it's your own fault.
I was afraid that this album would be trash because, well, I'm a hater. I like to think of myself as a hiphop purist and Cardi more than likely has a team of ghost writers. However the minute I heard Bickenhead I legitimately didn't give a shit who wrote what. I don't care if someone wrote Cardi's verses, she's the one who rapped it, she's the one who lived the life that inspired the bars. This is her album and I love it.
This album is going to inspire a lot of behavior. Some women are gonna demand a raise at work, some women are gonna throw a brick through their bum ass Baby Daddy's window, either way women are going to feel empowered. his is straight up Tax Refund music. Women across the country are gonna get their 2009 Nissan Altima's waxed to this album and I am here for it.
Invasion of Privacy is gonna scare a lot of dudes. Hearing a women be confident about her sexuality and her place in society is really intimidating. Every track I heard made my dick feel smaller and smaller and that's a really terrifying feeling but the music is too hard to deny. Also, hearing a woman speak so confidently about sex and sucking dick shouldn't be scary, this could inspire women to be more open about their sexual desires, and that means more blowjobs for everybody. Isn't that the American Dream?
I could go on and on about this album, it is a very solid Debut that was going to be a success regardless of how good it was. Cardi really could've coasted and dropped 10 Bodak Yellow clones and STILL would've sold a shit ton of copies. This tape was so anticipated that some of her fans got the Album Cover TATTOOED on them a week before it dropped. However Cardi didn't slack, Cardi knew she had a responsibility to women's IG captions everywhere and she dropped a BANGER.
I feel like I know Cardi personally and I'm very happy for her. It's like I watched a girl who used to get suspended every month graduate with Honors. I give Invasion of Privacy 9.5 Nutcracker Bottles out of 10.