I never wanted a Jay Z and Beyoncé album. A lot of people didn’t. I used to think A Jay Z/Beyoncé album would be like a Will and Jada sextape: O.K. But it wouldn’t be exciting if other people weren’t involved.

No, I did not want an album from The Carters. But then on a Saturday afternoon in June I realized how wrong I was.

We needed an album from The Carters. So let’s get into EVERYTHING IS LOVE.

First thing first I did not expect to hear Beyoncé rap. Hearing Beyoncé rap is like finding a 20 dollar bill in your 20 dollar steak; it’s a nice surprise. Don’t get me wrong Jay is rapping his ass off but it feels like Beyoncé told him “if you give me some bullshit bars like you did the Ha Remix in 2000 I will leave you immediately, that’s right I remember that remix, fuck Becky with the Good Hair you need to go and apologize to Juvie with true Soulja Rags”. Jay comes off happy and motivated on every song, it’s almost cute how impressed he sounds at Beyoncé’s bars. I say almost because it’s clear she didn’t write them shits but she never claimed to write her bars, that’s another light skinned Diva.

My first real reaction is that Offset deserves his credit for creating a flow that’s so accessible to women. Some of the best verses on this album have Offset’s essence all over them. Shit there’s some points Beyoncé sounds so much like Offset I thought she was gonna get accused of cheating on Card-you get the point.

Now this next thing I’m gonna say is gonna make everyone who’s ever been friendzoned lose their mind. The biggest problem with album is that there are NO problems. It’s TOO good. This is an album that had no risk of failing. Listening to this album is like watching the Patriots play no one in the SuperBowl. This album sounds like

It was recorded for the sweetest Make-A-Wish kid around. No lie if you listen hard enough you can hear him say “Awntie B Ooncle Jay that was the Gweatest”

Great albums are defined by the risk behind them. Jay and Bey has nothing to lose besides pissed off fans who only have Spotify. The amount of money put into this album could’ve got Kanye out of Debt.

Jay Z and Beyoncé successfully made a couples album. Every couple you hate is gonna make their Instagram captions lyrics from this album the same way every single you hate uses Drake lyrics. Some women are gonna listen to this album and wonder why they’re rapper boyfriends haven’t asked THEM to make an album together yet..and some rappers are gonna get kicked out the house for saying “You’d have to catch me cheating first”.

EVERYTHING IS LOVE is a very well produced albums filled with the written vows from a Vow Renewal Ceremony. At the end of it all I can do is feel bad for Nas cuz he couldn’t even have the WEEKEND. I give EVERYTHING IS LOVE 8.5 keys for a successful marriage out of 10.